woot.com - 10 Hot Rumors About Tomorrow's Ares Rocket Test Launch

http://www.woot.com/Blog/ViewEntry.aspx?Id=9585

Laffs by Scott Lydon & Jason Hinklin-Lauderdale on October 26, 2009 at 2:00 PM

1. For some reason, the on-board computer won’t stop asking Mission Control to tell its wife it loves her very much
2. The entire event being filmed by motion-capture cameras for use as the first level of the soon-to-be-announced Grand Theft Auto: Milky Way
3. Secret compartment, not shown on any blueprints, contains the corpse of the one guy who knew where Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate is
4. To attract a younger audience, the two stages will be named “Mojo” and “Jojo”
5. Elton John set to release “Candle In The Wind '09” as a tribute to the almost-defunct space shuttle
6. Fanboys are gathering at the gate, declaring that if NASA won’t help them, they will commandeer the rocket and rescue Kitty Pryde themselves
7. Certain members of Congress feel now that we've proven we can blow up the moon, it’s time to focus on blowing up the Earth again
8. NASA’s marketing director is kicking himself over how simple it would have been to tie-in with ABC’s upcoming remake of V
9. The nose cone will be loaded with the last remaining Atari 2600 cartridges of E.T. The Extraterrestrial, thus removing the awful blight of that game from the face of the Earth forever
10. Lex Luthor will escape yet again when he reveals to Superman that he has trapped Lois and Jimmy inside the rocket when it is JUST ABOUT TO LAUNCH!